


Cold Comfort

by HellsPurestDevil



Series: Fallout Vindictus [5]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Deathclaw Companion, Deathclaws, Gen, Loss, Sad and Happy, loss of a mate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24943768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsPurestDevil/pseuds/HellsPurestDevil
Summary: A mournful wailing call filled the night, leaving all that heard it heavy hearted.The Matriarch had finally passed.___________________________________The loss of a mate is hard for anything, even if you are the most vicious creature to ever walk the wasteland. After the loss of his mate, a Albino Deathclaw must now learn to cope with its loss, or succumb to it.
Relationships: Deathclaw(s) & Original Character(s)
Series: Fallout Vindictus [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1783843
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Cold Comforts

_A mournful wailing call filled the night, leaving all that heard it heavy hearted. **  
**_

_The Matriarch had finally passed._

_The Albino that remained by her side tilted his snout to the sky and let out another desperate call before nudging the limp form. Alpha had tried to reach out to comfort him, but the albino turned away with a silent curl of his lip and a hiss building in his throat that seemed to rattle his whole form. He was desperate, Alpha could see that in the way his body trembled with distress and agitation, and this time her affection would not sooth him. No, what he craved was something that he would never get again. He wanted his mate of so long a time to rise to her feet; to wag her tail, click her claws and invite him to hunt like she had done for so many years even before they began to live out their days in sweet domestication, but the female was gone, that would never happened again._

_The old girl had been showing her age over the last year, a rare sight for anyone who knew just how long a Deathclaw could live for, and although Ghost himself was still physically in good condition despite his own age, the matriarch had become stiffer and quieter, so unlike a Deathclaw who was normally so full of strength in the field, keeping the younger claws in line._

_It had been the oncoming chill of a sudden cold snap that had finally held her doom. As the Talon’s Deathclaws never found the need to hibernate now that they could stay warm throughout the winter, Alpha and anyone else who wished to help, had done their best to nurse her through in the warmth of the barn hoping it would do her some good, less she slipped into hibernation and never woke up. But then the days brought on a sudden bark of a cough and weakness, and over the space of a few days she faded fast._

_But it had been that night that the Deathclaw had finally struggled outside with her remaining strength and settled down under the fading light of the sun in the corner of the corral, that seemed to signal the end. Unable to convince her to come back inside to the warmth of the barn, One of Alpha’s closest friends, the claw’s handler, Vera, had opted to stay outside with the elderly female and that night seemed to be no different from any nights before. All three of Vera’s kids had cuddled the aged animal, and the twins had helped tuck her in under a blanket with their favorite toys when the youngest was sent to bed. The twins had even begged to stay up to keep her company, but Vera had for once been stern and settled them inside before returning to where Alpha and Her had kept their vigil. The female let out a purr as she nudged one of the stuffed bears the twins left out for her and it was like she had known what was coming, and decided to give them peace of mind knowing what they did was good. The Matriarch always did have a strong parental instinct, and it did Vera’s heart some good to know that the kids who the Deathclaw had always come to love, got to see her one last time and that the Claw seemed to be happy._

_As the night waned on, Alpha’s throat couldn’t help tighten at the thought that it had been the Matriarch, out of all the Deathclaws that made up Ghost’s herd, that Ghost had introduced her to first, as she and Vera watched the animal drift off into a light doze. Alpha had owed a lot of her happiness to the big female, for in times when she could not calm Ghost, or feared she had lost him, The female was always right there to bring him back, to be the Alpha males emotional support and and she tried not to think about how it was going to be heartbreaking to go without her boundless energy and vitriol in their lives. Vera herself would be devastated as well, in the same way Alpha knew she would be when Ghost eventually passed as well._

_It took a lot of convincing before she finally managed to get Vera inside and tucked into a warm bed when the Matriarch eventually passed early that morning before the sun rose, but nothing would move Ghost, who had to have sensed the commotion cause he hopped the corral bars early that night, too take his own vigil some ways away from the rest of them, like he had been to nervous to come closer to the female let alone Alpha herself. But the female didn’t seem to pay it no mind, evidently calmed by the notion of his presence, as both he and her exchanged their own sounds to one another, some sounding like chuckles and others like mournful low grunts_ _that seemed to lull and calm the female as she eventually slipped back into a doze and passed on._

_After the female passed, Ghost had settled beside the body and refused to budge. He would stay that way for the entire night into the following day. Alpha and Vera were the only ones able to approach the body; any other would be met with bared teeth and fierce snarls and ground racking claws. The mournful, baying crying had stopped eventually stopped, but he refused food and water and any attempt to move him away failed badly._

_The delay in burying the female weighed on Vera, Alpha could see it growing in her the longer Ghost’s grief continued. Luckily the weather was still cool enough to avoid any more distressing problems, but they needed some closure, all of them did. The kids had picked up on Vera’s distress and had been clingier and more prone to outbursts than normal, and Alpha was starting to feel the strain as well. They would allow the male to mourn, but something still had to be done about the body._

_It was the next night in the mess hall that Reaper, Alpha’s second in command, had mentioned the heart clenching decision to sedate Ghost to allow them to separate him from the body. Deciding to talk about it more in the morning they had tried to get what little sleep they could, but when they woke in the morning, Ghost seemed to have accepted things. Barely moving he drank a little and lay huddled by the tree line way passed the corral, eyes lazily following every movement until the ceremony was done and the body was covered by dirt._

_No one saw exactly when he left, or was sure what time he did, but by the time the small ceremony had concluded and the crowds had dispersed, he was gone. No one saw him the entire day, and quickly days turned into a week without any sight of him.Search parties had been offered but Alpha had held hope that he just needed space; Ghost had always come back before when he disappeared suddenly. But the longer it went, the more she worried. She had seen this happen before, where Deathclaws after losing mates went off to die when the grief got too bad, and while she knew the possibility was high, she had hoped that Ghost would find it within himself to continue on, for her sake if not his own, or even the sake of his pack, who had too grown restless and distraught over the death of their matriarch and only now grew more agitated at the apparent loss of their Leader._

_But as the more time passed, the more it seemed that Ghost was truly gone never to return again…._


	2. The Brighter side of Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A search yields pain, loneliness, but also a sense of familiarity

_His snout twitched, breathing in the scents of the earth, the raddoe that had passed this way earlier, the scent of a Deathclaw marking territory. But it was not the Deathclaw that he was seeking. **  
**_

_The Albino trotted on, his sure and steady stride, that sent the meadow thumping with heavy footfalls now faltering as exhaustion and starvation began to eat away at him. He had not hunted since he had lost her. He barely drank, and what little rest he managed was short until the restlessness returned. But he could take it, he may have been old, but he could still take losing a few meals._

_When they had covered her with dirt, he had watched. When they slept he had investigated the strange ground. The large form was gone, but the smell remained. The next few days he had lingered in the area, keeping his silent vigils until the scent had gradually faded into nothing. It was then that his restless search had started. Each tree he passed, every grass colored meadow he passed, all had once been shared and all at once were empty. His bellows had faded through the nights as he moved further and further from his home. No matter where he went, he found no trace of her._

_His feet started to hurt. Wearily he walked into a clearing that had been a regular haunt of both his and hers. They had spent many warm summer days sleeping, playing, and hunting with or without their humans. It was here that he had first felt the excitement of a playmate, of a companion. Arching his back his head drooped and he sighed. The basic instinct to survive warred with the desperation of his search. He needed to feed, he knew that, but whenever he caught a scent, he couldn’t seem to abandon his search. As well as food, he felt the tug of the pack he had left. The young needed protection now that his mate had gone, and the older ones needed to be taught that you couldn’t be too rough or bite the humans when you rough housed, and the little human pups needed watching, it was his duty as alpha to watch the pack… but somewhere out there…_

_His aged muscles clenched and his head jerked up at the snap of a branch, staring into the forest he let a feral snarl break into the peaceful night. He wanted no company, he didn’t want to be bothered. Several tense minutes passed before the sound of a feral ghoul running off slowly ebbed away, and he settled back down again, soft whines escaping at the tension and pain in his body. But even he was not impervious and exhaustion soon overrode his wariness and sleep claimed him almost instantly._

_After only a few hours of restless tail twitching sleep, filled with more endless searching, a strong gust of wind brought new scents that made his nose twitch and eyes open. The sky was still dark and filled with the shifting glow that his pack sang to, and Ghost stretched slowly to remove the stiffness that had seeped into him before sitting and watching the arcs of light. Normally he would lift his muzzle and sing his joy and pride and vigor for life, but he was alone now and the instinct paled as his eyes took in the empty meadow once more._

_Looking back towards his pack, his home, he felt the urge to return to the warmth, food and safety. There his grown pups remained, the human pups would be sleeping and whimpering those high pitched noises that stirred his protective instincts. He could curl in the warmth on the hay and grasses that lined his little corner in the barn. He could hunt, or share the food that the human pups liked to bring him. It was safe and warm and the comfort of the pack was hard to resist even now when thinking of different company brought on the shakes that rippled his muscles, the same shakes that he had when she left him. But the wind was blowing, and there were places he had not searched. His mate could be out there, and the same instinct that had kept him beside his human all those years, refused to let him abandon the search. Not now anyways when he still had a ways to go._

_Standing up he cast one last look around the meadow, one last scent of the air in hope that it would bring a trace of her to him. Then he turned and without looking back trotted into the forest to continue her search, home ever so slowly becoming more and more far away. Days past, turning into weeks as she traveled and searched. He hunted very briefly, barely stopping to eat his fill before continuing on. Ghost’s normally muscular frame soon grew thin and gaunt, but still he didn’t rest. Something called him onward and he was never able to rest or settle._

_His path wandered occasionally, drifting away as he followed prey briefly, or avoided humans, or just became too weary that he just focused on moving, but always his nose would turn north and the glowing trail in the sky would lead him onward._

_Eventually he found himself back to a place he never thought he would be again. The old quarry had come up to greet him abruptly as he faltered and nearly fell over the rocky outcropping of his old territory. It was completely empty with not a creature in sight, and yet he could feel eyes upon him. So he stood there, so still and quiet that he was barely noticeable among the patches of rock. His eyes scoured every inch of the ridge for the long quiet minutes until his curiosity finally got the better of him and he scaled down the cliff face, his wrists and legs aching as he slowly skidded down._

_His gait was stiff and cautious as he picked his way through the rocky terrain of the abandoned quarry. The feeling of being watched was still with him strongly, but all of his senses told him that he was alone underneath the midnight sky. The sensation was putting him on edge. He snarled softly as the wind shifted, pushing him towards the middle of the quarry_

_Then a gust of breeze brought a scent to his nose._

_It was so familiar, so right. Suddenly alert he trotted forwards, drinking in each breath that carried her scent. Twisting around he looked for her, waiting for that familiar form to appear over the rocks. His tail wagged slightly before drooping as the moments passed. Sniffing again he tried to catch his scent, but all he got was biting cold. His entire body sagged, a soft whine escaping as he stared out into the bleak emptiness ahead of him. It was vast, it was beautiful, it was familiar but it was empty all the same._

_With a sag in his movement, turning around he walked down a rocky ridge, where the sound of roaring water greeted him fondly like an old friend. The waterfall had not been here originally before he staked his claim to this territory so many years ago, having been caused by humans blasting a little too close to the river above, thus opening it up There was a huge flat rock just outside of the waterfalls reach that had been big enough for his entire family to sleep on; the perfect sunning rock that kept you warm as a breeze blew water mist to keep you cool. It was aged now, crumbling, but he still smelt familiar scents within it as he dragged his nose against it softly, snorting little dust particles into the night air as they twirled before disappearing off into the sky_

_Suddenly unable to hold back his sorrow, he raised his muzzle once more and like generations of his ancestors before him, sang his sorrow to the world with a low bellowing call, but he didn’t have the strength to call out his frustrations for long, and soon the call tampered off as it echoed across the rocky terrain. With a snort, he turned back toward the waterfall, and what was behind it._

_The tunnel that led even father into the cave had not changed in all years since his departure for better lands when his clan had gotten too big for the grounds to sustain them. Ghost made his way over to the heaped pile of leaves in the center of the den, circling it cautiously before gingerly lying down. It took little more than a second for him to realize it no longer felt the same as it had long ago - gone was the warmth, the simple joy of a soft place to lay down and a sheltered den to hide in. Now there was nothing but dead leaves, mulch, and the memory of a female who he had decided to take as his mate all those years ago in this very spot, where they rested together as he courted her for days on end, where he was more than content to spend the last of his days now alone._

_The Deathclaw startled and pricked his head as he heard the rustle of movement nearby, his heart starting to thud almost painfully in his chest as he clambered to his feet. He called tentatively, a low grunt, trying not to let himself hope lest he be let down._

_There was a moment when it seemed the sound had left. However the moment passed, and instead Ghost felt a soft breeze blow across his face. It felt strange, and he growled softly at it as it blew around his face, up his horns, then down the upper half of his back. Then as if it could tell he was nervous the wind blew again, and that familiar scent he had yearned for had returned to him. But this time, it was not alone._

_As the wind blew Ghost had felt his eyes start to close in a sudden shift of sleepiness. And as he rested, he softly felt his bed of leaves sinking behind him before a warm weight settled in against his back._

_Deathclaw dreamt of many things, old memories, the thrill of a hunt, old companions, of lands they once traveled and of things they once met. But as Ghost slept suddenly, he did not dream of any of those things, instead he dreamt of light, of light in a field of grasses. With her beside him, up against his back with her tail curled around him just like they always slept._

_Oh how he wanted to yip and bellow out his happiness! At long last his search for her was complete!! But he found he could not so much as utter a call. So instead he closed his eyes in his dream, drinking in her scent as a warm light surrounded them both. The feeling of her teeth nibbling and grooming him the way she always had, the feel of her rugged well worn scales and her scent enveloping him soothed that aching restlessness that he had been unable to escape for what seemed so long and for the first time since he had lost her, he felt complete once again._

_As the nightly dream waned on, they had stayed like that for whatever length of time it had been. Then Ghost felt his mate shift, and a sudden heaviness weighed in his chest when he realized what was to happen._

_It was time for her to go._

_Before she left him in that field of light and grass, he felt a soft tongue run up the side of his muzzle, and as the last of the light remained, he allowed himself to lean back slightly into the reassuring warmth of the female, letting out a slow breath as he felt the familiarity of the cave return in a rush of the sound of a waterfall. As he awoke back in the cave, the sudden rush of familiar sounds coming to greet him, he turned his head to look behind him.  
  
Behind him the leaf pile seemed to beam with warmth, and with its warmth, the scent of familiarity. The scent was strong and as his head followed it, he smelt it leave the den, pass the waterfall and with renewed want he followed it as it went across the grounds and up the cliff face he had scaled down.  
  
Gone was his hunger as he ran to follow it. Gone was his loneliness as it guided him past familiar lands he had traveled. Gone was the ach in his chest at the fear he would never see her again as he bound past rivers and human settlements and abandoned buildings, before the scent tapered off passed a familiar trail, which he walked with renewed vigor in his step, towards the familiar gates as dawn rose to greet him.  
  
And as familiar voices came to greet him as well at the gate and as a familiar set of hands roamed around his muzzle and held his neck, he breathed in the scent that had taken him home and purred as it morphed into a new smell.  
  
The smell of home, where the old scent he had searched for, for so long would forever be._


End file.
